The Voice of the Inner Teacher

 

The Voice of the Inner Teacher

 (Another blog post written for my friend Phil Volker (caminoheads) that I thought I'd share with my followers.  I am going to make an effort to post weekly as we celebrate two years in Spain soon.)

Parker Palmer asks us “Do you have experiences of listening for, hearing, and having to deal with ‘the voice of the inner teacher’?  If so, can you tell a story or two about those moments—about how they have felt and what they have meant in your life?”¹

 

Growing up surrounded by formal education and taught to most value words in books and those from the teacher at the front of the room had a particular effect on me.  It silenced the voice of the inner teacher that we travel the life journey with.  The English language has metaphors for that voice – a gut feeling, a hunch, a leading, an inner voice or an intuition.  And I sometimes acted upon them, but more often silenced that voice. 

 

I found that pilgrimage moves that Inner Teacher’s voice to the front of the room, and grants me permission to acknowledge the words and act on them openly, even sharing them with others.  My pilgrimages didn’t start with the Camino, but my awareness that I had been a pilgrim before became real during that long saunter across Spain when I had lots of time to listen to that Inner Teacher, act upon the words heard and consider the results.

 

Today I invite you to think about your own Inner Teacher voice before, during and after your pilgrimage and leave a comment or two with what you heard, learned and how you may have used those lessons as you returned ‘home’.  Phil has been sharing this in the blog for years, now it is your turn.  

 

Do you more readily respond to the Inner Teacher’s voice after walking a pilgrimage?  

 

Have you heard the same lesson repeated over time? Did you respond to it?  

 

I won’t reveal here any of my lessons heard and responded to so that I don’t keep you from posting your own, but I will add one or two in the comments in a few days.

 

Well, one little example: My Inner Teacher led me to write on this topic, and she only voiced it once a few days ago.  I’ve learned to ‘Just Do It!’

 

In teachable love,

 

Ronaldo in Astorga, León

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 ¹Chapter 7 of the Companion DVD for "The Courage to Teach Guide for Reflection & Renewal: 10th Anniversary Edition" with Parker J. Palmer. https://vimeo.com/15518084

Intimacy & Vulnerability or Waking Up With You Today

This blog was written for my friend Phil of Phil's Camino but I thought

that I'd share it here too just in case anyone actually reads my forgotten online journal.

All comments are welcome...

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Intimacy & Vulnerability or Waking Up With You Today.

What is it about our Camino that brings the word intimacy into focus? How does the Creator reveal intimacy?  Is there a reward for vulnerability?  What can we take from the intimacy we experience along that path in Spain and spread it around?  

Lots of questions, let’s look for some answers.

If you had the pleasure of walking a Camino you likely remember the way Spanish people greet one another.  The standard two kiss greetings shared with a woman you know, the hugs that men share readily and sharing personal space.  ‘Abrazo fuerte’ (strong hugs) is a very standard closing line to letters, like ‘Sincerely’ is in the US. I just looked at an email from our Spanish teacher and she ended it with ‘Un besazo y un abrazo enorme.’  After living here for a year we are comfortable with these hugs, kisses and words but now it is curtailed as part of healthy practices. It must be hard for Spanish people to meet their friends and skip those greetings.

Intimacy is a sign of caring and requires vulnerability. We are taught to hide it except for a few family members and spouses.  But looking at God’s word I see how intimacy and vulnerability are expected.  The church is called the Bride of Christ.  God is Our Father. Christ is The Son of Man. Other believers are Brother and Sister. These roles and titles sound to me like family - intimacy and vulnerability should be the norm.

Can it be the norm?  In my Camino experience I found myself falling in love with a lot of people.  I was a 67 year old happily married American guy and here I was having very middle-school-gushy feelings about a lot of people I’d only known for an hour or so.  Some didn’t speak any English so our communications were body language, smiles, laughter, shared meal table, sleeping in the same room and listening to the same people snore.  And I sensed that they were feeling the same.  But I was feeling guilty. 

I’m glad to report that I got over the guilt after a few days.  I did not die from continuous overdoses of oxytocin, though I am now addicted.  I am able to talk about intimacy and vulnerability honestly with friends and appreciate the reactions. But now that I’m not walking the Camino per se, how do I apply that learning outcome to ‘regular life’?   

How do we love our neighbor as ourself?  How do we even love ourself?  And love the stranger?  And the enemy?  These weren’t in the footnotes, they come to us in the main text supporting the statement that God is Love.

I think the answer may include Waking Up With You (and Ourselves) Today.  I’d love to see your answers to these questions in the comments.

In Wake Up Love,

Ronaldo

   

Green Dots and Red Dots of Life

During ‘normal’ times the albergues, hostels for pilgrims, along the Camino routes are supported by people called ‘hospitaleros’ many of whom are volunteers from all over the world.  In order to volunteer at a wide network of albergues  one must be trained and certified. They are all closed at this time, but we hope that a day comes in the next year that the demand for housing along the Camino returns and hospitaleros are once again in demand.

I chose to take the hospitalero training offered in the US by the American Pilgrims Of the Camino (APOC) organization before moving to Spain with the thought that I could give back and especially I could be a quick fill-in for someone who was unable to serve during a time they had volunteered for.  I lived in Virginia and, of course, the training was in San Francisco that year.

There were 19 students and two teachers in the class.  We bonded immediately with Camino glue and began the first exercise.  A long roll of brown paper hung horizontally on the wall of the training room. It had a line on it representing the path of the Camino Frances.  We were all seated in a curved line facing the ‘map’ as one instructor gave us instructions and the other passed out a red sticky dot and a green sticky dot.  The instructions were to spend some time thinking of the highest point on our personal Camino and then to think about our lowest point.  Quiet time just going over that process in your own mind.  

If you have walked the Camino I invite you to do that right now. If you didn’t, you may want to think back upon your life.  What was the highest point?  No words - just picture the situation, maybe others that shared it with you, the moment you realized it, the place, weather, how you felt.  You didn’t know yet that this would be the high point, it was just a point along the Way.

I struggled.  I think everyone did.  Here we were in paradise (Muir Woods area) and thinking back to a period filled with high points.

The silence was broken by the instructor now asking us to think of the lowest point on our Camino.  Again it was difficult to say which was the LOWEST point.  Again we had some quiet time.

Silence broken and the task to be completed was to walk up, one at a time, to that 12 foot long paper map and place the green dot where you had the highest point and the red dot where you had the lowest point.  They started from the right end of the line, and I was thrilled to be about number 14.  

I needed more time to figure out where these things happened.  I’m not much on geography.  

Some of the people explained their moments in great detail and some were very brief.  There were some tears.  I was still not sure where these events happened and even if I were, not sure where that place might be on the wiggly line.

I was getting close to being expected to do this first exercise.  Everyone was nailing it, walking right up and sticking the green dot on the paper, telling the story and then placing the red dot and telling that story.

The person to my right walked up and was very brief.  

I was next.  I still had no idea.  

So I walked slowly to the map and explained that I needed help finding the right place.  I told them a few things about the place I had in mind and almost all of them exclaimed “Agés.” in unison.  Did the same for the red dot and they exclaimed “Logroño.” I made it!  

I won’t tell you the learning outcome of this wonderful exercise in case you decide to take this good training and they happen to use this exercise again.  It was a wonderful ice breaker and intro to being a hospitalero.

I tell you all this as a reminder that one doesn’t know what the high point of one’s life is when it is happening, nor the lowest point.  For years I have used the hang-nail parable (don’t worry, it’s not in the bible, I made it up) that reminds me that even though a hang-nail is really annoying and hard to ignore it is nothing compared to other conditions like cancer, or even allergies caused by the trees blooming.  But if all is well in our lives except that darn fingernail - well, we can overreact and even feel sorry for ourselves.

Think again of the high point of your Camino (or life), and the process that you went through to select just one, and realize that at each of those points along the Way you were really stoked and joy full.  You know, the same is true today, be mindful and recognize the high points in your journey, knowing you are free to take the joy and squeeze every possible drop of goodness from it, even sharing it with others.  And likewise, if you are struggling with the low point and no juice is coming from the effort you are making, keep your eyes up, looking ahead as another high point is on the horizon.  You might need some lemonade from the blessing walking along beside you.

Get your red dot and stick it someplace in your memory and then gaze upon the location (in space AND time) of where you are planning to stick that green dot.  But take a moment to fold over an edge of that green sticky dot so that you can peel it up and move it to the next high point along the Way.

We wish you joy from Astorga, only 262 km from Santiago, or about 11 days walk, where Spring is showing beauty and creation refreshed all around us.  Keep on walking!

Buen Camino

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The Other Jew of the Day is Abraham who was the example of Hachnasat Orchim - hospitality - welcoming strangers and offering a place and a meal in his tent.  

The People Who Made Our First Year Wonderful

Special people who one encounters along life's path are the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  It is my experience that no matter where one goes it is the people along the way that are most memorable and bring joy to the heart.  This chapter of the blog celebrates the people here that brought us joy.

Rainbows along the evening walk

The foundation of our ability to move here includes our family, kids, and grandkids. One of the advantages of living here was our ability to have them see another culture from the view of a resident instead of a tourist.  We had the pleasure of living in Haiti when our kids were tiny and I think that all kids benefit, as do adults, from seeing up close and personal how others live.  It eliminates a lot of the 'they are different' mindset we get from only seeing people on the evening news or described by experts. 


Anilia and her family made it here for Christmas and New years so we got to see how different the holidays are celebrated here in Spain.  Gifts aren't really given until January 6th, but we had some good times each day.  The weather was good and we did get to visit our Flores del Camino friends in nearby Castrillo de Los Polvazares, the wool town of Val de San Lorenzo, and a visit to León.

John, an amazing artist, kept busy in his journal while here converting activities into images and words.  I think they all liked their holiday time here.  Summer next time ...

Jack and his family were able to make it here in August, just in time for Fiestas de Santa Marta activities.  This included a lot of outdoor activities and very long days.  They also got to walk to Castrillo de Los Polvazares to meet Basia, Bertrand, and their kids, to eat a fun meal at Mesón de Arriero where they have vegetarian specialties as well as Cocido Maragato, a meat-intensive meal.  We got to spend some time in Madrid as well and that experience led us to later spend a week there on our own to figure out what to see with kids.  Next time it will be better!

Lisa, my sister, and her husband, Joel, in 2008.  I don't know why I can't find a more recent photo, we spend every Thanksgiving with them and we spent a week together in Germany this summer, but, Oh Well...  They are another part of the foundation material with their love for us and their love for European travel.  Ignore the spots on his shirt - he is the master turkey carver!

Also fundamental, of course, is my Camino Family.  Not all are in this picture but where are those good pictures when I need them?  This was a fancy meal, likely in Santiago de  Compostela, the destination for most pilgrims.






More members at a more typical meal.  It brings back great memories.  I  recall a very funny line from the young woman across the table from me, one that only could be said by someone after walking the Camino.  Ask me when we see each other, I can't type it!

Really...

The foundation continues with our friend and language teacher Maria.  In this Christmas picture, Basia from Flores del Camino in Castrillo de Los Polvazares joined us for the class session too.  Never a dull moment in María's class!  

Now I'll introduce you to the others who have made our time here a pleasure.

Tomás, our landlord. He looks angry, but he is just thinking about how best to replace a section of the tile floor that failed last winter.  He responded immediately to our call about the problem, brought materials and a flooring guy the next morning, and only made a little dust fixing the problem.  But he was willing to take a chance on renting to us, and the apartment came with so many little things that make it livable such as kitchen devices (immersion blender, orange juicer, dishes, etc.), an iron and ironing board, and even a bathroom scale - in kilograms, of course! 

We would never learn to really hear and speak Spanish if we just took lessons, watched TV and spent time together and with our English speaking friends.  So we were thrilled to be introduced to Tomás and Mari Carmen who are the parents of a friend of María's.  Tomas speaks some English and they are both taking English language classes at the local school of languages.  We used to get together, before the lockdown, and enjoy coffee in a local bar, play cards or just talk about what is new in each other's lives.  They have a granddaughter and we had some time with them and Anilia's family trying to get three kids around the table to be content and patient.  We have run into them on our evening walks for the last couple of days.  They are our age and live one block down the street.  So good to see them!  

 We do miss our dogs and enjoy watching all the people walking dogs around the town.  This picture happens to include another friend, Mary, and her new dog meeting another dog walker along the Roman Wall, a common dog-friendly zone.  We met Mary through María - if fact the first time we met with María she invited us to come to lunch with her at Mary's home.  Mary is an American and also teaches English.  Her husband Enrique is from this area of Spain.

 This is the 'after the meeting' gathering of people that are involved in maintaining a Camino Pilgrim memorial garden near our home.  At the table are Camino Association leaders, local government officials, and a few of us supporters of the work that needs to get done. 
Breaking bread is an honored tradition in work as well as social situations.  It was great meeting these folks just days before the stay-at-home started.

 I love this picture.  It is Ann with Basia of Flores Del Camino and Annette, a British woman that came here years ago and started a sheep farm with friends and family.  I look forward to hearing more of that story, but she is also an artist also and has participated in some of the retreats and other activities with Ann at Castrillo de Los Polvazares.  In this picture I think Annette and Ann are coming up with some idea and Basia, in the middle, is not so sure ...

Stanislav, from Ukraine, could be my brother.  He has an interesting story that might be a blog chapter of its own.  

 Using this picture because you have to see the fun that (from left to right) Annette, Kerri, Andrea, Ann, and Bertrand had at the stained glass retreat at Flores del Camino.  This was a really fun group of people and they made nice stained glass art.

Andrea and her husband Alfonso run the Mesón del Arriero restaurant I mentioned in the comments about our kids up at the top.

 This guy could also deserve a blog chapter of his own.  Alexander John Shaia is a modern polymath.  He is an author, and so much more.  We met him at the stone carving retreat, where this picture was taken, but he also leads an Easter Retreat at Flores del Camino, which we just participated in via Zoom, and hope to do it live next year.  You could join us!  Let's just say that you might hear ideas that are new to you.  His book, Heart and Mind: The Four-Gospel Journey For Radical Transformation (soon to be published as a hardcover with a title Radical Transformation: The Four-Gospel Journey of Heart and Mind) is enlightening.  The word Radical in the title is important, you will be engaged with his journey.

That's it for today - our 1 year anniversary of life in Spain.  Still enjoying it even with the stay-at-home conditions.  But it will end one day and we will all learn something from the experience.

Learning Language and Culture

María, our language teacher enticing us to learn with sweets

There was no question that learning Spanish culture and language was going to be the most important and time-intensive part of our first year in Spain.  I had made it walking the Camino where local people are used to encountering people from all over the world and making it all work in many languages, but now we were no longer pilgrims or tourists but permanent residents and members of the neighborhood.

Now we would be going to the hardware store in search of round-headed screws (they don't exist here) and getting haircuts and buying embroidery thread and dealing with government agencies.  We had a responsibility to learn to understand and speak Spanish.

I had developed skills in eating in restaurants and buying things in food stores.  I mean, that is the basics of life, right?  I learned to say lo siento (I'm sorry), la cuenta, por favor (The check, please), Gracias, de nada and Buenos días.  I understood siéntate (sit there) as well as no te sientes ahí (Don't sit there). I learned to call ahead and ask ¿Tienes una cama para esta noche? (Do you have a bed for tonight?) as well as to understand the most terrifying word for a pilgrim - Completo (we are full, no more beds here). 

But when the answer to that question was Sí, ¿cómo te llamas? and I would respond with 'Ron,' I usually got silence in response.  Ron means rum, yes the liquor, in Spanish, and is pronounced somewhat different.

I see a resemblance ...

So I adopted my to-be Spanish nickname, Ronaldo.  And that generated some funny conversations.  The first one I remember was a reply in broken English after a few tries in Spanish "Just you or team?" which I thought was referring to my Camino family.  I learned solo uno cama, por favor in response, "Just one bed, please."  Another day I got the comment after securing a bed "You play bad, very bad, in last game." What?  I just shrugged it off and thanked him for the reservation.

Later when I got to that albergue he again told me I played bad.  And someone explained to me that he was referring to Cristiano Ronaldo, perhaps the most famous fútbol (Soccer) player of the day.  Of course, I didn't know anything about him or soccer in general, but I saw the need to learn this part of the culture too.

María and her dad, with a Gracias note from us
for the fruit he had sent us from his garden.

So when we got to Astorga I wanted to find someone who would teach us Spanish better than that owl Duo on my phone screen.  We mentioned that to everyone we talked to and our first AirBnB host got us connected to María who has turned out to be much more than just a teacher.  We laugh together and she has allowed us to participate with the young boys and girls to whom she teaches English.  We have been to a birthday party, met them in the plaza, and even made an online video about ourselves for them to learn to hear US native English speakers and respond to us.  We have also joined a Skype lesson with several young students. ¡Mucho divertido!

But that is the icing on the cake.  The process of learning another new language is not so easy for me.  I'm old and I don't hear well, so getting pronunciation is difficult on top of not remembering vocabulary.  But María has the skills, attitude, and flexibility to work with Ann, who hears a lot better, and me. My comfort level gets better all the time, especially reading, as we have done a lot of that during our stay-at-home weeks. 

Skype Language Learning

During this lockdown we meet online using Skype - and send homework back and forth using email, WhatsApp, and shared Google docs, learning more technology and Spanish every day.  María keeps us inline online, lets me write stories and helps me fix mistakes, and more important than anything perhaps she is never Completo, she always has the energy to keep us moving forward.  I see a day soon when we can eat with María on the plaza and practice the restaurant vocabulary we have been learning at home.

What are your language learning memories?  Please share them in the comments.

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The Other Jew of the Day is Prof. Shmuel Rafael, director of Bar-Ilan University’s Salti Center for Ladino Studies.  More than 525 years after expelling its Jews, Spain is officially recognizing Ladino as a Spanish tongue in the hope of saving the language of Spanish-Jewish exiles from extinction.

Thankfully ...

Normal Programming will resume after this important message from...

Courage Astorga: Napoleon couldn't take us and neither can Covid-19
Thank you Healthcare Workers, Police, Truckers, etc.

Do they ever say that on TV anymore?  When I was a kid and watched TV we'd hear this when breaking news happened or the TV Network (remember when we used that word for other than Internet connectivity?) connections were lost temporarily.

I'm using it because there is an important message that needs to be communicated today, unrelated to the 'normal programming' on this channel.






The headline should read something like 

"Parents Defy The Laws of Physics in Maintaining Family Life."

It is an outcome worthy of much praise and celebration that parents have created safe and stimulating environments with no notice, no extra funding, previous training or new facilities, and kids that didn't have any input into the timing and conditions.  The conditions weren't fully known at the beginning and seem to have changed in an unpredictable way.

The addition of the younger kids to the home all day, ones that parents were used to having out of the house 7 hours a day and older kids away at college most of the time came into the 24/7 home space demanding that many parents learn how to make the home a more structured living-learning community. This involved the blending of the social side, the technology side, and likely the emotional side.  It was not easy but I hear examples of both success and failure along that journey.

I am really looking forward to the application of the lessons learned during this time to our lives in the future.  Education at every level will surely have different expectations and methodology.  Businesses too have seen how effective 'working from home' can be for some roles.  The internet has proved very resilient from what I can see.  Kids of all ages have become more comfortable with using the technology and that includes parents - they are someone's kids, right?

I say all this to support my feeling of gratitude to parents everywhere, including extended support 'family members,' who may have had roles in making it all work.  Thank you and please keep up the good work at the intimate, hand-holding level, the listening and speaking level, and by sharing your successes and your frustrations.  We all learn from mistakes too, right?

We are a long-term married couple with no kids or parents physically present to care for or to care for us.  That would be the same if we were in our US home.  But via the use of technology to communicate simple texts, still photos, voice messages, and video calls we have managed to be a family irrespective of the miles between us.

So I would like to propose that we expand the celebration of Mother's Day to include the whole family, whose roots are the mothers in most cases.  Your kids are learning how to be parents every minute and as grandparents ourselves I am glad that our kids learned from (or forgot) the things I did wrong as a dad and are doing great.  Focus please on the lessons learned and less on the opportunities lost.

Embrace (depending on your hemisphere - I do have readers in the Southern side) on the spring seasonal changes that are going on without us even 'logging in' and clicking on the right button: Trees sprouting leaves, flowering plants emerging, leaves, buds, and flowers emerging. Beautiful in spite of the lockdown.  Life goes on.  As they say on the Camino "Keep on Walking."



I close with two things that have made a positive difference for me and encourage you to consider these practices:

1) Gratitude: Years ago I read a short essay that encouraged a gratitude practice.  It was so simple.  The author suggested that each evening you write down three things that you were grateful for that day.  I added a calendar on the phone called 'gratitude' and started writing the entries each evening as directed.  Soon I was doing them as they occurred - or rather as soon as it occurred to me that I should be grateful for something.  It wasn't long before there were a LOT more than three a day.  They weren't big things usually, just little chances to make life better for someone or myself.  Or being in the right place at the right time to see an old friend walking down the sidewalk.  Or getting handed a hot-out-of-the-oven croissant at the bakery for a mid-morning snack.

It did not take long to not need to write them down as I was always had my 'that is great' sensor going.  But I did put together the sentence I would have written and said it to myself.  The sentence always included 'Thank You for ...' and never 'Thanks for ...' as, to me, one of the key elements of realizing gratitude is thanking SOMEONE. Sometimes it is possible to communicate your thanks to the persons you feel are responsible but often it is not.

2) FEAR Not: This one is harder for most of us.  It started for me with a mother that should have been fearful for many reasons but appeared to not be held back by the fear.  But it was solidified by reading, at random, a library book called The Science of Fear (Daniel Gardener) which changed my life.  This book may not be your book.  People who identify as Christians or Jews can read this advice, or really, this command, over and over in scripture, 55 times in the Old Testament and 16 in the New Testament (KJV) in a quick search. Likewise, the Quran includes many mentions of the same advice for followers of Islam. So Thank You, Daniel, for writing that book.

Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life (Gregg Levoy) is another book with a message that puts things together for many people.  The bottom line is to use the exercise of living to lead in positive directions and not to running fast and further away from what might happen to you.

In an on-line meeting the other night Gregg Levoy shared a lot of questions, as is his style of teaching, and I'd like to share paraphrases of 3 of them with you:

• Have you noticed yourself exhibiting more compassionate behavior during the pandemic?
• Is there some way that you imagine this event having a healing effect on your life?
• Of whatever changes this event has brought to your life, which ones would you like to become part of 'the new normal'?

Those who are mothers, Thank You!  Those who support mothers, Thank You.  Those who have mothers, be Thankful.  For those of us whose mothers are no longer with us, Fear Not, cuddle with the memories, share them in words or deed, and be grateful.

What resources have made an impact on your life?  Please share them in the comments.

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The Other Jew of The Day is Yocheved: She braved Egyptian decree for three months to save her son from certain death, then orchestrated it so he’d be raised in a royal household. And it all paid off: Her boy Moses went on to become the greatest Jewish leader of all time.

Look at That!

Today's blog will be in images of old things, man-made and sustainable, that caught my eye and I thought might make you curious.  I'll add a simple caption for each and if you have a question or comment, you can quote the caption if that matters. I provided links in some captions that I found interesting.  Enjoy!

Cruz de Santo Toribio: The town in the distance is Astorga

Doors tell stories here

Anyone Home?

I've seen other ones like that!

Cathedral Santa Maria in Astorga (Minecraft Version here)

Beautiful natural siding

Fuentencalada- where water is available for man and beast

Petroglyphs

Library Entrance in Castrillo de Los Polvazares

You are Welcome Here

Signs Along the Way

Where Did I Put My Keys?

Is that Guy Wearing a Mask?

More Storytelling Doors

A Reminder

A Well Known Mother and Child

It's Been Going on for Years!

There Is Light At the End of the Tunnel

This Signage Still Works at Walking Speeds

Medieval Baptistry

Cruz de Ferro

Keeping the Sheep In or Pilgrims Out?

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The Other Jew of the Day is photojournalist Gerda Taro (1910–1937): a 26-year-old Jewish émigré from Leipzig, Germany. Taro had died in Spain, while covering the Battle of Brunete, during the second year of the Spanish Civil War. Taro was a celebrated photographer and the first female photojournalist to be killed on the frontline.